Wow! Oh Wow! Mac and I have been married twenty-five-years today, July 10, 2018. This is one of those Once in a Lifetime events. First, I have to tell you I am in awe, over-whelmed, and humbled that Mac chose me, making my life a wonderful fairy-tale. A journey that I hope continues for many more years.
Listen to Phebe as she reads this post
I never thought about getting married. My goals were centered more around my business than dating. Being in my thirties, my mother even said, “I should probably buy your sterling flatware for you, I don’t think you’ll ever be getting it.” So, lucky me, she did—Tiffany’s Chrysanthemum!
At the time, I had a wonderful psychologist, Betty in Lewisville. We worked on all kinds of things: my mother, my father’s early passing, goals—both personal and business, accountability, and the most interesting and intriguing thing Betty ever said, “You’re getting older. We should probably work on who you should accept a date with. You can waste a lot of valuable time dating the wrong type of person.” As I said, “Intriguing, huh?”
She began with two big questions. The first, “Phebe, how do you feel about living in Michigan?” Bewildered, I replied, “I’m not going to live in Michigan.” She said, “If you date and marry a corporate guy who moves for promotions, you could very well be living in Michigan, or anywhere else.” I realized I was tethered to Texas by love of my state, family, land, and my business. I wasn’t about to date a corporate guy that would move me for money and a corporate climb. Done, done, and done!
Her second question, “How do you feel about being criticized?” “Well, duh…absolutely not,” I said emphatically, adding that this is why I was in therapy to begin with. Betty quickly pointed out that if I married a creative person, by nature they are usually critical of other’s creativity…also adding that they rarely make stable money. Hmmm…my friends had been saying, “You should meet this person, or that person—they’re sooooo creative.” I don’t know, but instinctively I always declined the option of the date.
The summation of all this, was the conclusion that I needed someone licensed or committed to living in Texas. I needed a stable, business mind that both enjoyed, and enhanced my creativity; in turn, this person needed lightening up by hanging out with me—a goofy, obsessive, over-thinking-everything creative type.
Almost like I had submitted a purchase order to the Universe, Mac Hargrove appeared…and boy, did he need me! He had not one dollar of debt, he drove an old Volvo (I had a matching one), he wore bookish round wire glasses, he liked caaaaats, his T.V. sat on a chair, he had three dinner plates to his name, he read a lot, and at the time worked for the U.S. Treasury. Best of all, we really hit it off, and my grumpy old cat, Simon—who liked no-one—liked him! Saved by a Cat
How I Married Mac
We met on a very unusual day, it was late afternoon—Wednesday, July 9, 1992. That morning I did something long overdue, and emotionally difficult—I fired my mother from my business. I know, I can hear you…but she was kind enough to buy your flatware…that can’t be bad. Well, it can. You see, she struggled with Borderline Personality Disorder making her a different personality at any given moment. On this particular moment I had heard an untruth one too many times, and with Betty’s training, I learned to hold my ground. For the last time, I had heard how my father didn’t want me, and she was to dispose of me—dispose of me! Calmly and curiously, I asked her what her plan was for disposing of me, her only child. “What were you going to do? Put me in a bag and drop me in Sugar Creek?” (Sugar Creek was a creek on our farm) “I don’t know,” she replied, “I hadn’t figured out exactly how I was going to do it.”
I left my office to be alone at home. Later that afternoon I was outside giving a homeless cat, Tibby—who a year later moved in, a bath in a big RubberMaid container.
Around the corner came Mac, and a mutual friend. The friend was moving out of town, and Mac mentioned he wanted to meet me, after all we only lived two buildings apart on Abbott Avenue. We also had the same car, Volvo 240—gun-metal grey. He came back on Friday to help move a piece of furniture. I had on a coordinated cute outfit, and was baking cookies. Simon-the-Cat sat close and stared. We dated: Me and Mac, and Simon-the-Cat.
Not once did we ever mention marriage. Per several friends observations, I was convinced I was not the marrying type.
Roll forward eight months from July 1992 to April 1993. I was on the road doing personal appearances at Neiman Marcus for Easter. It was April. On this particular Saturday I was in Fort Lauderdale. The store had just opened and I was swamped with customers. The department manager told me Mac was on the phone. I said, “Tell him I’ll call back.” She returns to say he has to talk to me, now. I excuse myself, and take the call.
Before I begin this paragraph, keep in mind we have never, not once discussed this—not once. On the phone he says, “I’m standing here in the church with the lady who books weddings. I know we’re going to get married. I need to see if any of these three dates fit your schedule: June 26th, July 3rd, or July 10th?”
You know dear reader, it was one of those moments in life when you have a monumental fork in the road, and a split second to decide which way to go. I was a bit stunned, I admit. I stabilized myself; gathered my thoughts quickly mirroring his peculiar approach. In the split of a second I made a life changing decision.
“Well, June 26th means nothing. July 3rd is a holiday. Since we met on the 9th, why don’t we take the 10th? I hear him tapping the desk of the wedding booker. “We’ll take the 10th,” he says. Back on the line he asks, “What time should we marry?” “Let’s get married at 10am on the 10th. That way we’ll remember it,” I reply.
Click of the phone—that’s it—it’s over, that young-girl wonderment about engagement and marriage had just happened for me. I turned to Meryl, the children’s department manager, and said, “I’m getting married in nine weeks on July 10th!” Meryl said, “We had dinner last night.” “I know, I said, but this just happened.” She followed me back to my table, announcing to everyone. They all applauded.
I do not have an engagement ring, and don’t need one.
That’s how I married Mac—Highland Park Presbyterian Church—Wynne Chapel—July 10, 1993—10am.
A Funny Little Side Story
As I mentioned, Mac had not a dollar of debt until I showed up. It was two days before the wedding. We stopped at the jeweler to pay for and pick up our wedding rings. Immediately following, Mac drops me at a gift shop on OakLawn in what is today, The Shops of Highland Park. As we pulled up, he handed me his credit card, the one specifically marked for our wedding expenses, and drove on to do something else. I headed in to purchase picture frames and bridesmaid gifts.
Selections made, I stood at the desk of this very cute store to check out with our wedding credit card. The lady runs the card. She looks at me and steps to the back to “get a bag”…for a long time getting the bag.
In walked two Highland Park police officers. They question me about my purchase and the credit card. I laugh, pull out my drivers license with the name Phebe Phillips—at which point it hits me that I am alone in this store with a credit card in the name of Mac Hargrove, who had never used it for more than groceries, yet we had just an hour before purchased our wedding rings…oops! They are convinced I am a thief using a stolen credit card. Special note: in 1993 you couldn’t just ring someone up on their cell phone.
So I waited with the police officers in the back room of the store until Mac returned to identify me. Really, I was never upset, I knew when Mac arrived it would all be fine, it was just tedious. After it was all explained, it was funny. Especially, when the week before we had been before the Highland Park Judge, Pat Robertson for Mac’s arrest warrant for Cat-At-Large…we paid the horrific fine of $5.00 for Tibby, the outside cat mentioned above.
The story of the wedding dress, the cracked tooth, the IRS audit, the broken key in the door, the “I’m married” panic, and the Honeymoon-Turned-to-Hell will all have to wait for future posts.
Right now I only want to think about how wonderful this life has been.
And What’s a Wedding Without a Few Photos
Oh Phebe I’m so thankful to read more about your precious life eith mac
Hi Laura,
I am so happy you enjoyed it. I’m learning to tell about life in a story-form, and it’s so much fun.
Love, love, ~~P
Heartfelt congratulations to you, Phebe, and to Mac! May you share many, many more years of life, joy and memories together!
Marilyn,
Thank you so much. Do you remember Meryl in Fort Lauderdale, or was she before I knew you. See you January!
Love, love ~~P
Well, lovebirds ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
what an incredibly romantic tale to dive into at (what was about) 4:30a.m.! Yes, it is 6:00 now, but I had to read it twice, make coffee, listen
to the music therin, and a few other little detours 🤗!
The most enchanting story..about two most enchanting people!
A ‘serendipitous anniversary’ seems the sort to wish the two of you! 😍
With oodles of admiration!
Annie
Annie,
What a wonderful comment. The podcast closet is coming in handy for storytelling. It was fun to write and read. Twenty-Five-Years…crazy, huh!?!
Love, love and many wonderful time to come ~~P
Loved t he pictures and the story. You’ll have another 25 good ones.
Oh Janet, I hope so…I’m putting my purchase order in to the Universe for 25 more…then 25 more…then 25 more….
Love, Love to you and Allen ~~P
Phebe and Mac, happy anniversary to you. Phebe, I thoroughly enjoyed your love story. You both are blessed to have each other. I wish for you many more anniversaries. 💕
Mable,
I love your words to me, both here and on messenger. Thank you for being in my world.
Love, love ~~Phebe
Great love story!! Happy Anniversay!!!
Lana,
Thank you so much. I love telling stories, now I am enjoying recording them. It’s a whole new twist.
Love, love ~~Phebe
I love this story!! Thank you for sharing your wonderful self with everyone. I hope to read of your 50th anniversary in 25 years!
Hi Denee’,
Well, #MeToo!!! haha! This seemed like the perfect time to tell the story. There are so many stories to tell…stay tuned. I’m learning to write them and record them. I’m so happy you enjoyed it.
Love, love ~~Phebe
I loved your story!
JoEllen,
Thank you so much. Save-the-Date of Friday, October 12. Amorette at the Chamber put together a Yam Pie tea for me at The Upshur County Library to introduce my book. Lori is making mini pies. Noon to 3:00. A percentage of proceeds benefit Friends of the Library. My book, Why Me, will be $15.99.
I love storytelling!
Love, love, ~~P
What a sweet story. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Toni,
You are so welcome. It was a fun story to share, and there was more to write, but I’ll save that for future posts. I’m enjoying learning to write and narrate stories.
Love, love ~~P
I loved reading your post. I hope you continue to write and share them. Your writing is authentic and you are very gifted in so many areas. I have enjoyed watching all your creations through the years and look forward to all the new things on your horizon!
Hi Kelly,
Thank you so much. Your words mean a lot. Authentic…it takes courage. I remember my fingers shaking, and a pit in my stomach as my hand hovered over the Mail Chimp feed to send my first post out. I hope to grow into story telling and recording them. I tell myself daily:::”Must Stay Modern”…not necessarily young, just Modern.
Love, love ~~P
What a journey we have had – so far! There will be even better stories to tell in the future!
Love, Mac
Mac,
I love you. It’s the life Pat mentioned, “Son, you’re marrying her??? You are headed for a life of high adventure.”
Love, love and always love…I am so fortunate and blessed ~P
Happy Anniversary and a lifetime of continued blessings to you and Mac! Love the story, Phebe!
Hi Stephanie,
Thank you. I am enjoying learning to tell stories.
Love, love ~P
Congratulations to you both. To a sweet man who knew what he wanted and wasn’t willing to let her ‘get away’. To you, a beautiful creative lady that is good at everything. Loved your story – thanks for sharing it will us all. I can’t wait for the next installment!
Wanda,
You are so welcome! It was a fun story to write, and there are many more. I’m getting comfortable with revealing life.
Love, love ~~P
Wow, you are truly a wonderful writer. I was totally mesmerized reading this. And can’t wait to read your book. I don’t know you very well, but I have admired you for years. I’m so happy you found such a perfect mate for you. Happy Anniversary and continued happiness to you both.
Sincerely,
Brenda Ehrlish
Brenda,
Such wonderful words. Thank you for writing them to me. It’s interesting to learn to write about your own life. To tell it in an authentic, funny style, and now I’m adding narration into the posts. Stay tuned…there will be more storytelling sandwiched in between recipe posts.
Love, love ~P
💗Phebe-I truly enjoyed reading your love story, and how you & Mac actually tied the knot 25 yrs ago. Wow, I love Mac’s no-nonsense attitude!
🌸You have been such an inspiration to us all, and your writing is just pure magic to me. You are so entertainingly truthful. That’s not easy.
🌟I look forward to your next writings & creative projects. And… it’s about time I bump into you at Whole Foods …🌈🤩right?💜
Hi Peter,
Yes, isn’t it the truth…we need to bump into each other at Whole Foods. I’m so happy you enjoy my writing. I’m learning to find my voice…finally!
Love you both, Phebe
We really loved reading the run-up to July 10, 1993. Happy 25th Guys.
Greg and Frances
Hi Greg, Hi Frances,
I’m so happy you enjoyed the post. It looks like you’re having a good time with that house.
Love, Love ~Phebe
Glad to know you’ve not strayed too far from Abbott—of course you had matching Volvo’s! Nice to count you two as friends from Holland. We miss Henry still. Thanks for sharing your story. Mac is a “let’s get it done” guy. Love following your writing and that you have my old composter!
Hi Sandy,
Oh we miss Poodle Henry so much. It will be a year July 24th. Love the composter. It’s cooking right now. I’m not adding anything into it.
Love, Love ~Phebe
Phebe, I loved reading your story and then hearing you narrate it! Happy anniversary to you both!
Thanks Denby! I’m happy you enjoyed the narration. I’m going to do more narratives with my blog posts. It’s fun.
Love, Love ~Phebe
Phebe and Mac,
Congratulations!!!! Your story made me smile! May you both have many more years of life and happiness!
Love both of you
Linda
Linda,
Thank you so much. I’m happy you enjoy the blog.
Love, love ~Phebe
Phebe, this is such a great story and I look forward to the rest of your installments. You were a lovely bride and havie a matching heart. Miss visiting with you two. We need to meet for dinner soon.
Hi Sharon,
Yes, we do! ~~Phebe
Love love this story
What a beautiful person you are!!
Congratulations to you and Mac
Love you both
Post more stories
Deb
Hi Deb,
Thank you for these sweet words. I look forward to seeing you in the Fall.
Love, Love ~ Phebe